Q & A: My husband is ready to go to court to fight for custody of his children. What should he do now to prepare?

Q.  My husband is planning to go to court to fight for full custody of his two daughters from his ex-girlfriend, with whom they’ve just shared without any legal arrangement.  What things should he do now before he takes this to court to set him up for success?

A.  There are a number of things that your husband can do to help set himself up for success inside the courtroom for full custody.  If him and his ex are currently utilizing a 50/50 setup that has been considered “working” for them, chances are, the judge in a courtroom will state that 50/50 is best for the children and place a court order for exactly what they’re doing now.

Typically, when you’re going to court for a change in custody of children (in most cases, a child custody modification from when an original order was put in place), there typically needs to be some change that has happened, a “substantial change in circumstances.”  This could mean there has been a change in one parent’s income, emotional status, mental capabilities to care for the child, and so on.  If your husband just wants a legally binding document stating his rights as a father, that’s one thing, but if he feels there is a need to be the sole custodial parent of his daughter, that’s another.

Of course, when it goes into the courtroom, he could fight that he is married (assuming his ex is not), has a stable household, etcetera, etcetera.  However, there are a few things that he can do to set himself up quite nicely with the custody evaluators, who can sometimes be the decision-makers as to which household is better set up for full custody of the child.  Make sure your husband is the one that makes the children meals, takes them to school and daycare and brings them home, participates in their extracurricular activities, takes them to their doctor’s appointments, and so on.  This way, when it comes to who does the day-to-day activities in the house, it’s not you—it’s him, and that will help him shine in the courtroom!

Also, it is so very important that he have great connections with the people involved with his children—their doctor, day-care providers, teachers, their friends and their friends’ parents, and other people who play a big part in his child’s life.  This way, if he ever needs written recommendations or statements from them for court, he’ll have a huge group of people behind him 100% offering their observations to the judge.

Q & A: My boyfriend's ex-wife is not following the court ordered visitation schedule

Q.   My boyfriend has an ex-wife with whom he has a son with, and she lives about two hours away.  It is court-ordered that my boyfriend get his son every summer.  This puts a bind on him, however, since his job would force him to have to pay for daycare during the day while he’s working.  I work nights, and can watch his son during the day so that he doesn’t have to worry about making arrangements for daycare.  His ex-wife, however, refuses to let me watch her son, and would rather her son stay with her parents instead, who live in town with her and basically keeps my boyfriend from having any time with his son at all.  Does she have a right to pick who can watch her child even though it’s during the child’s father’s time with them?

A.  Unfortunately, it sounds as though the ex is being highly unreasonable.  If she has a real concern with her son being with you, that’s one thing, but she may just be doing it out of spite, anger, or resentment against your boyfriend.  You’re “the other woman” and maybe she is afraid that her son might get attached to you.  It might be best to sit and talk reasonably with her to find out her true concerns.

However, I think the biggest concern here is the violation of the court ordered agreement.  If they have it court-ordered that he gets his son during the summer, then she is basically neglecting to stick with that court order and could be considered in violation if she is trying to keep their son where she lives just because she doesn’t want you caring for her child out of spite.  If he were to get daycare for his son, would she insist on “approving” of them too?  If not, then it’s a situation of spite.  If so, then maybe she is overly concerned as to who is caring for her son outside of her home.

Q & A: Fiance's ex-girlfriend gave up rights of daughter to her parents, can he get his daughter back?

Q. My fiancé’s ex-girlfriend gave birth to his daughter while he was not around, and so his name is not on her birth certificate.  His ex-girlfriend gave over legal custody of his daughter to her parents, and they are now the legal guardians.  My fiancé wants custody (joint, full, whatever he can get) of his daughter.  Without his name on the birth certificate, what are his rights and how can he get his daughter back?

A.  It’s important to know that regardless of the situation with the grandparents, the courts will typically side with a biological parent taking care of the child.  This being said, the first step that needs to be taken in this situation would be to have your fiancé prove that he is indeed the father, regardless of what is stated on the birth certificate.  This can be done with a simple paternity test, which your fiancé could go to court and request legally.

Once paternity is established, then he would go to court against the grandparents.  In a situation like this, he could probably go for full since it sounds as though his ex-girlfriend doesn’t want much to do with the child already and/or feels like an incompetent or irresponsible parent already (maybe she’s young?).  In addition, since he’s your fiancé, he may fare better in court once you were married, as he could fight that the child would be entering a two-parent situation, a stable household and a two-income family.

Q & A: Does my fiancée have to pay up back child support before we get married?

Child Support Revolt I eBook
available through the NBFR
http://www.fathershelphotline.com

Q. Does my fiancé have to pay his back child support to his ex-wife before we get married? Are there any legal implications if he has child support payments in arrears?

A. It is “not” a requirement to pay off back child support (otherwise known as “arrearages”) as a prerequisite to get married; however, please be aware that it’s important to keep your finances separate as, if you comingle funds in a joint checking account, the child support enforcement agency may come in and take “your” money as well. Don’t let this happen.

It’s important, if there are child support arrearages, your fiancé contact the child support collection agency and make payment arrangements. If this doesn’t work out well, then he can proceed to court to obtain an order from a judge regarding repayment. The child support collection agency must then follow this order.

Audio/Video on Women for Fathers Rights

The world's number one fathers' rights activists, Dennis Gac, has an audio/video post on YouTube that talks about How can Women Help Their Man with Fathers' Rights Issues?  It's five minutes long and offers a number of tips and information that you can use to help your man with his custody battle, whether you're a wife, girlfriend, mother, or grandmother.  Some great, fast information to get you on the right track to helping the man in YOUR life see his children and gain the rights of fatherhood that he deserves!



Be sure to check the other YouTube videos and audio files available through Dennis Gac--he has a number of helpful instructions for women, men, and the loved ones in their lives that can help them with their fathers' rights issues.  In addition, Dennis Gac is the founder of the National Brotherhood of Fathers' Rights, which is a group that focuses on fathers gaining rights and custody of their children and giving them the chance to earn their fatherhood back from spiteful ex-wives and ex-girlfriends!

How to Help the Man in Your Life With His Fathers' Rights Issues

Does your boyfriend, fiancé, son, or grandson seem to have his life together in every way except for his custody and child support issues? Has it become increasingly difficult for him to make any headway in his case? Has he become more hopeless in his quest to get fair treatment by the courts and from his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend? If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, the situation is not hopeless and there are many things that you can do to be a positive influence in this negative situation.

Your guy's ex-wife or ex-girlfriend probably has custody of his children, controls his visitation times, and demands increasingly unreasonable amounts of money from him, all while making him feel like a "dead-beat dad" when nothing could be further from the truth. Everything is going so well in every other aspect of your relationship and in his life; it becomes even harder to see your guy so miserable when really it is not his fault.

Many women who are in your situation don't know what to do, but they also don't know if it is even okay for them to get involved in any way at all. I am here to tell you that while you probably cannot be a decision maker in his case, it is crucial for you to take an active interest in your man's case. While you cannot legally do anything to help out your guy, you can be proactive when he just feels insecure and scared. When he is feeling this way, you can have a dramatic positive influence in just supporting him and making sure he gets all the information he needs to be successful and also to make sure he doesn't give up when he feels hopeless.

You see, fathers' rights are not just for and about fathers--they're YOUR rights, too.  If a father in your life has restricted access to his kids, so do you. If he's paying through the nose for child support even though his income has dropped, that affects you, too. His stress and feeling of powerlessness directly affects your quality of life as a couple. Now is the time to take back some of the power his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend has taken away from him and from you, if you are the girlfriend, fiancé, or spouse. Maybe he's even facing false allegations from his ex.  Many will exaggerate or downright lie in order to get more child support or limit the child custody as a power play. The courts are favorably disposed toward mothers and the ex-wives and ex-girlfriends that know that can take advantage of it.

This is where most fathers fail; they don't want to get involved when they think that they might lose or when they see their kids being hurt. What they need to realize is by not being in their children's lives, they will hurt their children more in the future by being absent as a positive and loving figure in their lives. This is where you can really do the most good. Support and research is where you can make the most difference in his life, so make sure that you have the information and support that you need to succeed.

A great place to learn about how to be there for your man during his fathers' rights battle is by checking into the Women for Fathers' Rights eBook, available through http://www.women4fathersrights.com, or through the link below.  What do you have to lose?  Show your support and give guidance to the man in your life fighting for his rights to see his children and be a part of their life!

Welcome to the Women for Fathers' Rights Blog!

Thank you for visiting the Women for Fathers' Rights Blog!  It is so important that women help the men in their lives with their fathers' rights issues, whether it be your husband, your fiancé, your brother, son or grandson.  The family court system is set up to favor mothers, setting men up for failure when it comes to divorce and child custody.  But women all over the United States are stepping up to the plate and supporting those they love with their fathers' rights issues.  Now, more than ever, fathers are getting custody of their children, increasing their visitation, and are getting to spend time with their children no matter what their current status with their children's mother.

If you are wife, sister, mother, friend or any other woman looking to help a man in your life with his child custody and fathers' rights issues, this is the blog to follow!  We will continually post new, up-to-date information on the changing custody arrangements allowed in family law, tips and techniques to assist your man with his battle in the courtroom, and even common questions and answers that arise from being the woman in their lives battling for their rights to be a dad.

We hope you continue to visit this blog, and follow it regularly to ensure you have the latest information and the positive techniques and tricks that you can use in order to help your man succeed in the courtroom and get the chance to enjoy fatherhood to its fullest!