Q&A: My Boyfriend's Ex Ran Off with His Two Children, and We Cannot Find Her!

Q. My boyfriend’s ex ran off with his two children, and we cannot find her or contact her.  How can I help him?

A.  When your boyfriend’s children are missing, it can be a very stressful and concerning time.  But there are a few steps you need to take before taking action.

First off, it is important that you check the actual court order that is in place.  If his ex has full-custody of the children and has the right to leave the area without permission, then she is technically not violating the court order.  However, if there is any concern for the health or well-being of the children, then by all means, contact law enforcement immediately.

If your boyfriend’s ex is indeed violating a court order (say, for instance, your boyfriend has full custody and it was her weekend to spend with the kids and she never returned), then it is important that you notify law enforcement immediately.  Chances are, they will help him find his ex and their children, and in some cases, depending on what is going on, your boyfriend can file an emergency order to obtain full custody of the children if their lives were at risk or there was the possibility of his ex causing harm to the children.  Depending on the circumstances involved, she could be charged with kidnapping and prosecuted accordingly.

If anything, it is a good idea to have a police report of the incident in the event it occurs again or the issue ends up going to court.  This can—or rather, WILL—help your boyfriend’s case down the road if he tries to get full custody of the children.

Another very important factor if he was not married to her is that your boyfriend needs to establish himself as the father with a full set of parental rights.  I’m not talking only about having his name on the birth certificate, I’m talking about going to court and filing a Petition for Parentage and establishing—with an order signed off on by a Judge—a court order which gives him decision-making capabilities.  Then, and only then, will he have “standing” in the case.  He has got to make this happen to help enforce his rights as a father.

--Dennis Gac, Creator of the National Brotherhood of Fathers' Rights

How to Help the Man in Your Life With His Fathers' Rights Issues

Does your boyfriend, fiancé, son, or grandson seem to have his life together in every way except for his custody and child support issues? Has it become increasingly difficult for him to make any headway in his case? Has he become more hopeless in his quest to get fair treatment by the courts and from his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend? If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, the situation is not hopeless and there are many things that you can do to be a positive influence in this negative situation.

Your guy's ex-wife or ex-girlfriend probably has custody of his children, controls his visitation times, and demands increasingly unreasonable amounts of money from him, all while making him feel like a "dead-beat dad" when nothing could be further from the truth. Everything is going so well in every other aspect of your relationship and in his life; it becomes even harder to see your guy so miserable when really it is not his fault.

Many women who are in your situation don't know what to do, but they also don't know if it is even okay for them to get involved in any way at all. I am here to tell you that while you probably cannot be a decision maker in his case, it is crucial for you to take an active interest in your man's case. While you cannot legally do anything to help out your guy, you can be proactive when he just feels insecure and scared. When he is feeling this way, you can have a dramatic positive influence in just supporting him and making sure he gets all the information he needs to be successful and also to make sure he doesn't give up when he feels hopeless.

You see, fathers' rights are not just for and about fathers--they're YOUR rights, too.  If a father in your life has restricted access to his kids, so do you. If he's paying through the nose for child support even though his income has dropped, that affects you, too. His stress and feeling of powerlessness directly affects your quality of life as a couple. Now is the time to take back some of the power his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend has taken away from him and from you, if you are the girlfriend, fiancé, or spouse. Maybe he's even facing false allegations from his ex.  Many will exaggerate or downright lie in order to get more child support or limit the child custody as a power play. The courts are favorably disposed toward mothers and the ex-wives and ex-girlfriends that know that can take advantage of it.

This is where most fathers fail; they don't want to get involved when they think that they might lose or when they see their kids being hurt. What they need to realize is by not being in their children's lives, they will hurt their children more in the future by being absent as a positive and loving figure in their lives. This is where you can really do the most good. Support and research is where you can make the most difference in his life, so make sure that you have the information and support that you need to succeed.

A great place to learn about how to be there for your man during his fathers' rights battle is by checking into the Women for Fathers' Rights eBook, available through http://www.women4fathersrights.com, or through the link below.  What do you have to lose?  Show your support and give guidance to the man in your life fighting for his rights to see his children and be a part of their life!

Welcome to the Women for Fathers' Rights Blog!

Thank you for visiting the Women for Fathers' Rights Blog!  It is so important that women help the men in their lives with their fathers' rights issues, whether it be your husband, your fiancé, your brother, son or grandson.  The family court system is set up to favor mothers, setting men up for failure when it comes to divorce and child custody.  But women all over the United States are stepping up to the plate and supporting those they love with their fathers' rights issues.  Now, more than ever, fathers are getting custody of their children, increasing their visitation, and are getting to spend time with their children no matter what their current status with their children's mother.

If you are wife, sister, mother, friend or any other woman looking to help a man in your life with his child custody and fathers' rights issues, this is the blog to follow!  We will continually post new, up-to-date information on the changing custody arrangements allowed in family law, tips and techniques to assist your man with his battle in the courtroom, and even common questions and answers that arise from being the woman in their lives battling for their rights to be a dad.

We hope you continue to visit this blog, and follow it regularly to ensure you have the latest information and the positive techniques and tricks that you can use in order to help your man succeed in the courtroom and get the chance to enjoy fatherhood to its fullest!