Q & A: My husband is ready to go to court to fight for custody of his children. What should he do now to prepare?

Q.  My husband is planning to go to court to fight for full custody of his two daughters from his ex-girlfriend, with whom they’ve just shared without any legal arrangement.  What things should he do now before he takes this to court to set him up for success?

A.  There are a number of things that your husband can do to help set himself up for success inside the courtroom for full custody.  If him and his ex are currently utilizing a 50/50 setup that has been considered “working” for them, chances are, the judge in a courtroom will state that 50/50 is best for the children and place a court order for exactly what they’re doing now.

Typically, when you’re going to court for a change in custody of children (in most cases, a child custody modification from when an original order was put in place), there typically needs to be some change that has happened, a “substantial change in circumstances.”  This could mean there has been a change in one parent’s income, emotional status, mental capabilities to care for the child, and so on.  If your husband just wants a legally binding document stating his rights as a father, that’s one thing, but if he feels there is a need to be the sole custodial parent of his daughter, that’s another.

Of course, when it goes into the courtroom, he could fight that he is married (assuming his ex is not), has a stable household, etcetera, etcetera.  However, there are a few things that he can do to set himself up quite nicely with the custody evaluators, who can sometimes be the decision-makers as to which household is better set up for full custody of the child.  Make sure your husband is the one that makes the children meals, takes them to school and daycare and brings them home, participates in their extracurricular activities, takes them to their doctor’s appointments, and so on.  This way, when it comes to who does the day-to-day activities in the house, it’s not you—it’s him, and that will help him shine in the courtroom!

Also, it is so very important that he have great connections with the people involved with his children—their doctor, day-care providers, teachers, their friends and their friends’ parents, and other people who play a big part in his child’s life.  This way, if he ever needs written recommendations or statements from them for court, he’ll have a huge group of people behind him 100% offering their observations to the judge.