Q & A: We're concerned about my fiance's ex and her abusive boyfriend's effect on his daughter!

Q.  My fiancé’s ex is living with an abusive boyfriend, and there is concern as to his daughter in that living situation.  She has full custody, but what can my fiancé do to make sure his daughter is safe and in a better living environment?

A. First off, call Child Protection Services.  It is better to be safe than sorry, and if there are signs or talk of abuse going on in a house with his daughter, action is needed.  Don’t be too quick to call CPS.  But remember, the more proof and better case that you have, the higher the odds of getting something done.  Remember, CPS is a governmental agency and, oftentimes, you’re getting into more than you bargained for—for example, the CPS can dig into an evaluation—including an evaluation of “your” living conditions and environment. Call them if there are signs or talk of abuse going on in a house with his daughter—in cases like this, action is needed for the safety of the child.

In addition to contacting Child Protection Services, your fiancé can also file an Emergency Order through the courts in order to obtain temporary full custody of the children until the issue goes to court.  But as outlined above, think in terms of “shock factor”—don’t go to court with frivolous BS or you will not be taken seriously in the future. By the time the issue gets to the courtroom, you should have additional information from Child Protection Services.  You can also see what you can find out along the line of any calls made to the police from her for abuse—if there is a police report stating they had gone to the house for a domestic abuse situation, then he’s got a strong case to get custody, even if it’s just for a little while.  But make the most of that time and fight for custody past the Emergency Order and into the future if you both feel she’s better off with you and your fiancé.